The Cruciality of Right Counsel

“One of the reasons we don’t know God deeply is that we don’t venture much on his pledge to carry things for us. Knowing God with a sense of authentic personal reality, is not merely a matter of study. It is a matter of walking with him through fire and not being burned. It is a matter of not being crushed under a load because he carries it for you at your side.” ~ John Piper

Browse through any bookstore and you’ll be inundated by shelves of self-help material. There, between countless titles, people rummage for wholeness. Is it any wonder we fork over the bucks for a well-known author’s insights, hoping for a breakthrough? Many times it’s just more psycho-babble couched in Christian terms. We try it, then wonder why nothing changes. God feels far away, and our faith doesn’t seem to help. It’s crucial to remember that psychology, theories, and man’s wisdom, as wonderful as they may sound, will never produce life in us. If you need help, but not sure what kind—maybe it’s time to define “help.”

Help—there’s a lot out there. If behavior modification, stronger self-talk, and better coping skills were all we needed, then any good book or counselor would do. For the person who doesn’t know Christ, this is as good as it gets. For those of us whose heart is set on Christ, we need to remember that He is a very present help in trouble, even when he feels far off. Christ is not only our means to salvation, but He is our ongoing provision for change, growth, and healing. Are we willing to venture on His pledge to do these things for us?

Only God knows us inwardly and understands what we’re facing. Only Christ can free us from the things that stop us from moving forward. Trying to accomplish our own growth cuts off the flow of His enablements for us. Striving wears us out. “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30, ESV). To experience His fullness, freedom, and healing, we must give up the self-life, and trust Christ to work in us. “For in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). Holy Spirit-led counseling leads us to this realization and fosters reliance on Christ—not on the counselor, methods, or our own best efforts. The most valuable “helper” is someone who leads us closer to Christ, and who is also appropriating Christ’s strength in his/her own life.

Not every counselor who calls himself Christian is practicing biblically. Many have simply integrated the Bible with psychology. “Still, others who call themselves ‘biblical counselors’ may be using more Bible than psychology, but they have allowed certain psychological theories and techniques to color their view of Scripture,” writes Martin and Deidre Bobgan in Competent to Minister: The Biblical Care of Souls.

Don Whisnant, of GracePoint Ministries, says this: “Other strategies exist for meeting counseling needs but typically do not identify God’s provisions. They are ‘Plan B’ solutions (I call them) that minimize or deny man’s fallen human nature, and are based on a strategy of heroic self-efforts to ‘work on yourself’ (a strategy of striving) with disregard for your need of God’s enablement. This means that your hope for recovery, at best, is rooted in a position of weakness (your fallen human nature).” No wonder folks go for years for counseling, or give up entirely.

I never question the integrity of anyone who desires to help people in a way that honors God, but I’ve personally experienced questionable counseling practices that compounded my grief. Wrong counsel distracted me from what God wanted to do in my life. “The counselor who uses techniques generated by lost men to help such a believer cut his losses is interrupting God’s process of bringing that Christian to the end of his personal resources,” says Bill Gillham, author of Lifetime Guarantee. I’d rather let God have His way with me in my trials, than go through the breaking process over and over again. It’s tempting to turn away from Him when we suffer, but that postpones the real help that God both promises and provides. It takes the grace of God to conform us to Christ in the midst of our sorrow and pain.

“Apart from me, you can do nothing,” Jesus said (John 15:5).

Be careful of professionals who comfort you but neglect your relationship with Christ. Therapy that depends on the man’s knowledge, rather than God’s grace, can cause spiritual growth to stagnate. I spent years deceived by worldly counsel given by a Christian therapist with good intentions. Later, a godly counselor helped me see how the Holy Spirit wants to use my experiences to conform me to Christ through ‘the fellowship of His sufferings” (Phil.3:10). He confronted the lies I had believed about God, and helped me finally see Jesus.

Hurting folks find it hard to focus on the truth. Pain is distracting. We don’t care about purpose in adversity when we’re down—we just want the pain to stop. This is exactly when we need a godly counselor to hold up the truth of God’s Word, pray for us, and place our hand in God’s when our faith is shaky. A godly counselor knows we don’t need new psychological techniques, more coping skills, or a stronger will. But we absolutely need a greater dependence on Jesus Christ and a fully-surrendered heart. Only then can we know the Lord, and that He is able.

What criteria can we look for in a godly counselor? Genuine biblical ministry does several things:

1. Helps you discover your true power and identity in Christ rather than pump you up with self-talk.
2. Gently leads you to abandon fleshly ways of coping so you’ll rely on Christ’s power IN you to effect change.
3. Affirms who you are in Christ rather than pin psychological labels on you.
4. Fosters dependence on the Lord—not on the counseling process.
5. Comes alongside you while the ‘fellowship of His sufferings’ conforms you to the image of Christ, rather than offering ‘band-aid’ solutions for your pain.
6. Recognizes the reality of spiritual warfare and prays diligently for you, and with you, against demonic forces that will try to camouflage your thinking against the truth.
7. Does not merely pay lip service to God, but truly believes and experiences the sufficient life of Christ in his/her own personal life.

“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast. To Him be the power for ever and ever. Amen” (1 Peter 5:10-11).

©2006 Victoria Gaines. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Bio:
Victoria Gaines lives near Atlanta where she and hubby are the parents of three beautiful grown children and one delightful granddaughter. No stranger to adversity, Victoria writes to impart hope to those who find themselves struggling with life. Her devotionals and articles have been published in various e-zines, church ministry newsletters, denominational publications, and book compilations such as A Cup of Comfort Devotional (2004) and Pinches of Salt, Prisms of Light (1999). Her other devotionals may be found at Crossmap.com and Windows to My Soul. Email: windowstomysoul@gmail.com