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Journey Through Grief

Ten Truths to Remember on Your Journey Through Grief

by Rev. Liz Danielsen

Are you journeying through grief? If so, here are ten truths to remember:

Remember, God loves you and will be on this journey with you, even if you feel alone. He knows everything about you (Psalm 139); He has inscribed you on the palms of His hands (Is. 49:16); and He invites you to pour your heart out to Him because He is a refuge (Ps. 62:8). As you reach out to Him, He will begin the healing process.

Remember, it’s ok to feel angry at God. It’s how you handle your anger that matters. Take your anger to God in prayer and allow Him to speak to you through His Word. Tell him how you feel on a daily basis. As you do, God will express His love and comfort to you in ways that you never dreamed possible. This is the kind of God we serve; His mercies are new every morning!

Remember, you can count on others to disappoint you. This happens for many reasons. They may have never experienced a loss in their life and so fail to understand the grief process. Grief is a journey, and it takes time-lots of time, more time than most people realize. Many have never been educated on the grief process. Some simply don’t want to understand. Until they experience their own loss, they will not attempt to connect with your loss. Be patient with others, and surround yourself with those who support and care for you.

Remember, you are unique; no one will grieve exactly like you. Share your feelings with those who welcome your honesty. Support groups provide a safe place to share your feelings without fear of judgment. Biblical support groups offer hope and help that others simply cannot provide.

Remember, as you grieve, you will feel a multitude of emotions. Your feelings are real, and you need to share them with appropriate people.

Remember, you have physical and emotional limits. Respect your limits. Talk to your family, friends, church community, and employer and explain what you need. Some find it helpful to step down from ministry for a season or to limit their responsibilities. Be gentle with yourself and share your needs with those around you.

Remember, you will have “grief attacks” on your grief journey. You may hear music, or smell specially-baked cookies that remind you of your loved ones and cause you to burst into tears or feel panicked. It can be scary, but know that this is normal.

Remember, you may find yourself questioning your faith. Perhaps your faith will remain strong but you see God differently now. To some, this can be frightening. If you struggle with faith in God after a loss, ask others to intercede on your behalf. Take time to look back on your life and to recognize God’s faithfulness in the past.

Remember, death is not the end of the story. Mary and Martha felt disappointed in Jesus because He allowed Lazarus to die. At the time of Lazarus’ death, Mary and Martha had no idea that Jesus would perform a miracle and raise their brother from the grave (John 11).

Your loved one may have died, but the story is not over. As you journey through grief, ask God to reveal Himself to you, to help you understand, and to lead you into what He has for you during this season.

Remember, you will never be the same! This does not mean your life will never be good again; it means that you will be changed. God has a purpose for you that continues to your last breath. When you are able, ask God to show you His purpose for your life.

He is faithful and will be with you on your journey of grief. Put your hand in His, and trust Him for your future.

©2006 Elizabeth Danielsen. All rights reserved. Used by permission.


Rev. Liz Danielsen is the founder and president of Spiritual Care Support Ministriessm, Inc. in Warrenton, Virginia. She is an ordained minister and a nationally endorsed Health Care Chaplain. In addition to her theological training, she has completed clinical pastoral education training with an emphasis on hospital and hospice ministry; specialized training and certification as a bereavement facilitator; comprehensive bereavement skills training; training to understand and respond to complicated mourning; and has received Death and Grief Studies Certification. Liz works with people of all faith backgrounds. For more information on Spiritual Care Support Ministriessm, visit www.scsm.tv.

Rev. Liz Danielsen, Chaplain
Founder and President
P.O. Box 643
76 West Shirley Avenue
Warrenton, VA 20188
Phone: 540/349-5814