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She Said Good-bye—Letter to My Unborn Baby

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By Julie Woodley

I was never born

Ten thousand days ago, ten thousand days later

My Mommy wanted to keep me, she was excited to see the bump of her tummy grow as I grew

Daddy said I couldn’t be born, too much trouble, He had goals, dreams. He was studying to be a lawyer—I didn’t fit

We got in the car, Daddy was quiet-all he said was “if you want to stay in this relationship you must get rid of this problem”

Mommy rode the ninety miles to Minneapolis crying, she couldn’t stop, she was queasy from my growing—we stopped and she threw up, “maybe he will take me home, let me keep the baby, she hoped, she prayed-please turn around!”

The air was turning Spring, it smelled good, refreshing, Mommy noticed the flowers budding—a sign of hope, new life??? Maybe, maybe, someone will help—she pled inside, Mommy had no family—too many years of horror with her father, she ran away at eighteen—never to turn back. Now—no where to turn, help her, be there with a new baby.

She stares at her new pink maternity top, its pretty—she longs to grow a new baby and fill it up. The car ride is quiet, eyes cast down as she cries and then she gives up and is quiet—she trembles. She remembers her last abortion—only three years ago, she tried to dismiss the thoughts but they hit her hard today. She remembers the pain involved, the sucking noises, the smells, the regrets after.

They park, she is screaming inside (so am I!) He pulls her in, reminding her of a better day tomorrow. He pays the $250 bucks cash, they give her a number. A room full of quiet women—afraid.

The day is long, yet too quick for me as I say good-bye, as I leave into the arms of Jesus—I plead with her—don’t cry, I’m with Jesus—full of joy and loving my Mommy. Please Mommy dearest don’t give up the fight-keep fighting for babies like me—there are millions up here yes, my sister too. We know you miss us more than you can ever express—we long for you too, but we will be together soon.

Twenty-five years ago, Mommy is still sad—thinking of what I would have been, looked like—she longs to hold me, love life with me! My name is Elizabeth

Ten thousand days later, Ten thousand days ago

©2009 Julie Woodley. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Bio:
Julie Woodley, MA., is Founder/Director of Restoring the Heart Ministry. She has recently produced In The Wildflowers, a DVD healing project with curriculum for those who has been sexually abused. She will also produce in the fall Into My Arms, a DVD healing project for those suffering from the trauma of abortion. Please log onto her website www.restoringtheheartministries.com, or call 1-866-RTHM.